I know I haven't written for ages. That is not the way I want to start.
I haven't written for every so long for a number of reasons.
1. I didn't want to fill the blog with my whining and complaining, I went through a long stretch here it seemed like all that was coming out of my mouth (or fiingers, as the case may be) was complainants a whining over an old college roommate that needed a place to get on her feet. That ran into almost of year and needed to be over sooner. Unfortunately it didn't end well and the old friend doesn't seem to be one anymore. Somehow giving her a deadline three months out wasn't enough warning for her.
2. I didn't feel like I was doning anything that needed commmenting on. This makes it sound like I didn't do anything in the ensuing time. Not true, I made great new friends, deepened some old friendships, was published in Lesley Riley's book of illustrated quotations, sold paintings and more.
3. I get moody and down in the dumps and don't feel lik everyone needs to hear my moping. I't's not all I do but when the depression hits it's just not pretty and I don't want to be around me.
4. My joints and muscles don't move the way they used to. I have days that are pretty entrenched with ibuprofen. Particularly since the broken arm thing two years ago.
5. And right now, my Dad, who is 94 is starting a long decline. This last month or two have been full of calls to 911 and trips to the emergency room. My sister and brother have been bearing the brunt of this. Bless them. My brother Stanford had been absent from the family for about 10 years or so. There would be an occasional phone call and promises of trips to visit but the trips didn't work out. Most of the time we had no idea what he was up to. And he really hasn't told us. And that is okay, he's here now and he is being great with caring for Dad. Last month my Dad's kidneys failed, he started dialysis for three times a week for three hours each time. My sister is using her family leave time from work to take Dad back and forth to dialysis. They are trying to set up shuttle service now and it looks like that finally Dad can get the power wheelchair that he has been wanting for a while. The three of us kids should be able to seing the copay together so that will be a relief and I sort of let his doctor and medicare that I I was afraidt they might be holding out on the wheel chair in hopes that he would pass first.
Anyhow, that is what has happened/is happening on the personal front. My art life gets pushed back in the hurry to take care of everyone else. My beautiful blue hair has now washed out to a strange blondish color. I wanted to get it cut short today and colored red but no one wants to do that on short notice and I don't wnat to make an appointment a week out. I just want to do it. In less about a week I will be 60. It bothers me. I don't feel 60...most of the time...when I'm not moving. :-) I'm fine with gray hair and being a grandmother but 60 is old. I know I could live years longer but mortality is there looking me in the face and I don't like it. It's beats the alternatives, I know , but I still sdon't like it. I am feeling jaded and old and I don't like it.
So now that I have reintroduced myself to you I can promise a more cheery, artier post next time. Honest, hang with me. It will be worth it...honest. :-)
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