Finallly

Finally

I’ve had a list in my head of things I want to accomplish. I don’t write this list down as it becomes scary and overwhelming and some of the items on the list are much too fragile to be tossed around on paper.

But every so often I will, finally, (and I mean finally, it can range from months to years) gander at my mental list and give myself a shake.

Today, I brushed myself off and submitted an article to a well known publication. It’s not my first time doing it but it’s not something I do a lot but I need to do more. It wasn’t hard. Okay, it was a little bit as I had to remind myself of the proper format for an outline. And thinking so linearly does not come easy to me. But the most important lesson I need to remind myself of is:

It s never as hard as I fear it will be in my head. Never.

Why I build these things up into scary monsters is beyond me. I mean, I teach workshops and I have done for over 15 years. Anytime you put yourself out there you risk rejection. Oh my.

What does that possible rejection really mean in my life? Well, it would mean that someone just wasn’t taken with my proposal. Shoot, that has happened before. I don’t like it. Not one little bit. But isn’t it worse to not try at all and never know? And besides, I can submit the proposal elsewhere so not even my time was wasted. If someone I don’t know didn’t choose to accept my work how does that really lessen me in anyway.

Oh yeah, my ego. The ego hates when not everyone loves it. Doesn’t matter if it loves everyone else back. They are just supposed to love me. Wow, what a poor excuse to use to not try something.

So, anyway, I submitted a proposal to day.